ducky's ramblings

to do - remember

2009-09-15T17:01:54Z

gas
laundry
unpack
phone bill
car insurance
car payment
grocery shop
corridor w/ wade & danielle - wed
housewarming party - fri

money for howl at the moon - sat
money for suspendDC - sun
money for kmdm - wed
make travel arrangements for elesia for kmfdm

pack up from moms house

work pants
button up shirts
shelves
liners
move tv out - sell?

volatilechaos @ 2009-08-24T22:33:00

2009-08-25T02:35:18Z

With lofty feelings, she is full of tenderness, sentimentality. Things do not always go her way. A meeting with a person who is either not free, too young or from a different family or social background means that living together will be done in the utmost secrecy while waiting for the chance to legalize the situation quietly, without any trouble. This state of affairs will make her melancholy. A lovely little family will result from this union.

oh what the hell. the stars said it was so. and we did have a lovely little family. so what happened?!!! where does it say, he will up and change his fucking mind?

i would start from the beginning, but i don't feel like it.

2009-08-24T21:15:53Z

i miss you.

i miss the way you feel.

i miss the way you taste.

i miss your scent.

i miss your hugs and kisses.

i miss the way we fit together so perfectly.

i miss the way you make me laugh until i can't breathe.

i miss falling in love with you everyday.

i miss knowing i had a partner in crime.

i miss making you dinner.

i miss showering together.

i miss how rubbing me with lotion always turned you on.

i miss getting tattooed together.

i miss waking up next to you.

i miss your morning texts.

i miss listening to you make music.

i miss that look in your eyes.

i miss your napping on the couch.

i miss seeing you be cute with the kittens.

i miss breakfast in bed.

i miss everything. EVERYTHING about you.

i feel like.... nothing.

i can barely function without you.

3

2008-11-20T17:17:48Z

had trouble sleeping last night. went to bed around midnight, was really sleepy, had a little trouble falling asleep for as tired as i felt, and then woke up and tossed and turned for a while at some point, i dont know what time it was though because i cant see that far. lol
woke up when boy got up for work, and felt awake, but wasnt ready to get out of bed, so i rolled around and slept til my alarm went off at 9. *shrug* didnt have a problem getting up. which.. is exciting.
alot less pain the last two days too. which is really exciting. since that was a huge problem in getting out of bed.

so, work yesterday, was a lot more tolerable than usual, it was boring as hell, but thats not unusual. i was having a hard time staying awake, since i was stuck in the fitting room, but as long as i bounced around or walked around i was fine.

didnt have any nausea yesterday, probably due to taking pepto with my dose. so woot. i did have a funny feeling in my tummy though, like, that i would be nauseous if pepto wasnt so awesome. i didnt take the pepto this morning, cause its messing up my poo schedule.

also my feet and legs didnt hurt when i left work. which. awesome. because they always do.

im sooo sleeeeeepppyy...

i found a project i really want to make, i saw it on hgtv this morning. sunburst mirror

i think its neat. i really need to stop watching hgtv, cause i want to repaint and move everything!! but i dont have the money for any of that stuff. lol. well. paint. but i dont know what colors i want to do. and i dont have the furniture that is going in here yet. *sigh*

im hungry.. veggie burger time!

P

2008-09-17T14:59:34Z

is it fucked up that I put on house of 1000 corpses or devils rejects when I know I'm gonna fall asleep and I want something to sleep to..?

P

2008-07-10T14:49:20Z

testing.

survey!

2008-03-06T04:48:20Z

1. If your being extremely quiet whats it mean?
that i dont feel like talking.

2. If someone hit you, what would you do?
hit them back.

3. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
god. kinda.

4. Have you ever had a one night stand?
yes.

6. Last time you laughed?
about 10 minutes ago.

7. Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
yes.

8. Are you wearing any clothes that dont belong to you?
currently no, but i have two things that were given to me.

9. Would you ever date your best friend (of the opposite sex)?
been there.

10. Have you ever received sexy pics from someone?
yes. im usually sending them tho. lol

11. Do you regret anything from your past?
not really.

12. If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
eeeeeh. probably not.

13. How do you react when people cry around you?
it makes me sad, cause i dont know what to do.

14. Do you bump into someones arm if you want to hold their hand?
no, i grab their hand.

15. Last argument?
hrm.. dunno. nothing important.

16. Last Kiss?
jason? and even that was a month ago.

17. Would you kiss them again?
probably.

18. Are you jealous of this person?
of jason? no.

19. Would you ever strip for money?
if your willing to pay, then yes.

20. Do you have a crush?
not really.

21. Do you know how to belly dance?
no.

22. Are you in college?
nope.

23. What are you listening to?
halo 3.

24. Last Beverage?
beer.

25. Last nap?
monday.

26. Do you own a planner?
yes. do i use it? no.

27. Favorite month?
april, october.

28. Would your parents be mad if you got someone pregnant/if you were?
dissapointed, but id abort the mission.

30. Would they be mad if you were bi?
bi? no.

31. What are you doing Saturday?
working.

32. One person who did/does the nicest things for you?
no one really.

33. Friend most like you?
sean.

34. Kiss on the first date?
i have.

35. Are you a slut/man whore?
i thought i was, but danielle says im not, and that means, im not. ohyeah.

36. Fav color?
pink. black. blue lately.

37. Are you racist?
i hate everyone.

38. Excited for anything?
my birthday, kinda.

39. Ever had sex with two different people in ONE day?
yes. at seperate times, and at the same time. woo!

40. Last time you were confused?
its what i do most.

41. If you could cuddle with anyone right now who would you pick?
foobert.

wtf happened to 42-44?????

45. Have you ever done something behind your best friends back and never told them but know that they know?
i dont think so.

46. Will you ever?
probably. sorry.

47. Rent a movie or go to movies?
either.

48. Been to mexico?
nope.

49. Own a gun?
id like the gun that shot jack ruby.

50. Happy with life?
well, i not really unhappy with it either.

volatilechaos @ 2008-02-20T14:53:00

2008-02-20T20:00:02Z

im thinking i dont like you. and im thinking the reason why, is because your a lot like me. you need more attention though.

the difference between us is that i dont need to be the center of attention. maybe sometimes, but not like you do.

seriously though... shut up.

tattoo

2008-02-15T03:39:03Z

hooray!
i got an alkaline trio heart tattoo yesterday, and im really happy about it, it turned out great!
i psyched myself out all day, cause i knew it was going to hurt, so i whined alot, sorry.

uuumm. really uneventful valentines day this year, even work was extra boring.

*shrug* didn't really expect any different.

boys are stupid anyway.

2008-02-09T08:00:19Z

im excited that i keep seeing boys and thinking they are cute.

i havent looked at someone and found them attractive in 2 years.

yes!

woohoo

2008-02-09T07:30:26Z

hooray! i went out with jenny and nate and their friends, to celebrate his birthday! i had fun.
im really glad that i went out. i really miss jenny.

wade proposed to danielle. thats cute. i really hope its not because he thinks it will fix everything though. i mean, its not like things are wrong, but from the outside, they dont seem like forever... i dunno.
im happy for them, if thats what they want.

myself however, that is not what i want. im having fun.

i think i want to break someones heart though. ..... just once. it would be new.

hooray

2008-02-08T19:13:34Z

for making an ass of myself.

dumb.

2008-02-05T07:40:12Z

lame. i havent lost as much weight as i thought i did.

my wrists look thinner, wtf is that?

why not someplace good. like. .my face?

been stuck in my head all day.

2008-02-02T07:56:14Z

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

today

2008-02-01T13:02:45Z

today was a pretty good day.

matt came to visit me at work! which was awesome, cause it was pretty much the most boring day EVER. we need to hang out though.

i went to fells point and met up with pearl and his friends. that was fun. im glad i went out. i gotta stop drunk texting people though. haha.

and then at about 3am, i went to see my favorite insomniac. :) we were nerds and played video games all morning.

and.. its 8am, and im going to bed.

....

2008-02-01T06:37:43Z

i have the biggest crush on someone ever.

i just wanna explode everytime we talk.

*sigh*

?

2008-02-01T06:36:21Z

how come everyone has given up drinking, now that ive decided i like it?

my tummy hurts

2008-01-14T20:24:38Z

I <3 SUPER MARIO GALAXY.

the end.

stupid

2008-01-12T15:09:55Z

im just all kinds of stupid lately.
i havent done anything wrong, but i sure do keep saying things that are going to get me in trouble.

its funny that i can't talk to one, without talking to the other. and that i havent in months, and my stomach has been in knots for days now,

and im just a stupid girl and they are just stupid boys.

and thats all they ever will be.

our timing has always been off.

i do still owe you a brand new colony.

knots.

2008-01-11T04:33:40Z

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

ex-plosion

2008-01-10T16:18:39Z

im nervous, and excited, and anxious, and confused. and i didnt realize i still felt this way about him. i hadnt even talked to him in months, i havent seen him in over a year now. and out of the blue he texted last night, and then called, and it was so good to hear his voice again. and we're supposed to meet up this weekend. just catch up. ive been thinking of him a lot lately. actually, every person that walks into the store i hope its him. hopefully this weekend, will get him out of my head. or at least quiet my brain.

im sure, that it will all pass.

maybe it's just the codeine?

Love Me!

2007-10-05T14:14:07Z

Im leaving on a roadtrip tomorrow, give me money and I'll bring you something!*

*there is no guarantee that your money will go towards said something instead of gas or food.

love, ducky

how about just a dollar?

lost

2007-09-05T04:59:34Z

if you know the whereabouts of my MP3 player. and you tell me.. i will love you indefinitely.

i have/had a creative zen touch 20gb. i lost the effin thing.

well. ive come to that conclusion, because i CANT FIND IT!!! :(:(:(:(:(:(

its been missing for a few months now. long enough for me to have found it if it was still in my possession, because i look for the damn thing at least once a week.

i am so bummed. and i bet if i did lose it and someone picked it up, they wouldn't apprericiate my fantastic mix of german industrial and whining emo crap.

AND! they would be able to do anything with it, because once the battery was dead, they are fucked, because, everyone besides myself, has an effin IPOD and they don't use the same chargers or anything.

i lost all of my music with it as well. cause my hard drive died promptly after i lost it. and 4 hard drives later, i still dont believe in backups. lol. no, i just dont think to do it often enough to save anything in the event of a crash.

anyway..
not that anyone knows where it is. but if you do. i would apperciate knowing too.

hot damn!

2007-08-28T03:47:16Z

the president of the company is visiting my store tomorrow.

i feel bad. i didnt really have the energy to help clean.

well. i never have the energy for anything. ever.

im pissed we had one day notice.

im not working tomorrow so i wont be there, but still.

hormones

2007-08-26T04:21:11Z

KMFDM - tohuvabohu is amazing. im not going to compare albums or anything, but i really like it. could use a little less lucia and a little more capt k, buuuuttttt, thats just me. and i kinda have a crush on him... even with that said though, i think my favorite song on the album is one of the songs she sings.

speaking of weird crushes, hbo is on, since the bob saget stand up special was just on, which was HILARIOUS. and theres some training camp thing for the kansas city chiefs, and theres a fullback(?), boomer grigsby, and yeah... little bit of a crush there. might just be the mohawk.

also. the angry video game nerd guy. yeah. crush. and besides that, he has like every nintendo game ever, and he says fuck every other word. and hey. so do i. lol.

also, apparently hinder was in my store today, but i didnt notice, nor do i care. i hate that fucking album. but. i let becca play it today. no crushes there. lol. well, i take that back. i met a guy today, that works for hottopic, but his store is out in oklahoma, but he is out here because he works with the lighting for hinder or something. and they broke some lights, so they needed more lights, so he needed to be here too. he was really nice.. cute too. hehe.

erics birthday is on wednesday. i cannot wait to give him his presents!!!! doc martens, tee shirts, beanie hats, h.r. giger art books, kmfdm cd, candy and foodjunks he likes, dinner, and the matching bra and underpants.. well they arent for him. hehehe.. there is a tv tuner gadget thingy he wanted for his compy monitor, but of course when i went to order it, it was out of stock.. ugh, the thing he actually asked for.... dammit... shhh. dont tell him about the presents though.

ugh. lappy generates too much heat!!!!!!